The Unhidden

I am going mad, Even after being in a prolonged lonely life; I cannot stay alone even for a minute now.

Emotions which was kept away from me is coming back;

Why am I crying? Why am I feeling sad? Why am I feeling depressed? - I kept my sadness away from me. Now it is back. I feel pity for old people; my mind is asking to go and help in old age homes & orphanages. Rise of my hidden charity work!!! I just want to see my mom and say many thanks.She is just awesome.

When you know that ....you cannot eat the food you loved most,  you cannot wear the dresses you bought, Or you realize that your beauty is going away, You can't buckle your jeans, There is something unhidden.

The Unhidden truth is hiding inside my womb;

Yes  I am Pregnant!!!

A Glimpse of Madappura

It was the "Chenda drums sound" beating inside me,  The sound was getting closer as in when I was walking to the Madappura. I could see the Chemparathy thara and the Banana stem on it with fire. A red masked face with a heavy crown was scary for me.

Oh God, Please take care of my family and the world, I was praying when the Theyyam was running around the thara and in front of the Shrine. I do not know whether I was afraid of the entire atmosphere, or the human form of God. Someone told me that the God would punish people. Immediately, the Theyyam turned to my side, I tried to hide behind my saree of my aunt. I just prayed, I have no desires, everything is left to you, GOD.

But when I grew, I realized that the God wouldn't punish people who are not hurting others. But why I was scared of this human God? The Communist in me was up at the teenage. I realized that I was just blindly following the stories I heard in my childhood.

Memories passed when I am seeing  the old Muthappan temple & kaavu. Today I am sitting under the Pala trees which are crossed each other like a pair.  I do not know why I became an atheist and turned against all these cultural activities.

I feel guilty for being a part of the crowd who didn't support to promote our culture.Years before the young blood made me to think that these were stupid rituals, rather It didn't allow me to see the artistic value or the cultural value in it. I felt, I was conservative in the process of blaming others that they were conservative by praying to the Human form of God.

Dance of her life

Is it...

The steps of a triumph of her beautiful life,

The steps with the new rhythm in her life,

The steps when it sees the terminus,

The steps by the ecstasy on the new stage?

Is she...

Dancing with the rhythm of her anklet,

Dancing with the fear of an uncertainty,

Dancing like a peacock for the God of Rain,

Dancing to forget and enjoy the moment?

ഒരു താളത്തില്‍

ഒരു മൃദംഗ താളത്തില്‍ അലിയും 

കൊലുസിന്‍ മണിനാദം പോലെയോ 

അഴിഞ്ഞ മുത്തുമണികള്‍ പോലെയോ 

അടര്‍ന്നു വീഴുന്ന മുല്ല പൂവുകള്‍ പോലെയോ 

ഏതോ ഒരു താളത്തില്‍ ചുവടുവയ്ക്കും 

എന്‍റെ മനസ്സോ അതോ ഈ ഇമകലോ

Frames

Frames! I wish I could capture beautiful and interesting moments at very minutes of life, the life what I see in front of me. Many times I was under great regret for not capturing the moments because of not carrying the camera rather being lazy to take the camera out due to some hesitation in front of the public around.

A night of me driving back to home late night at 2 AM after a tiring day at work. It was too good weather with a drizzle after a heavy rain. Rain gave me goosebumps always and that day too. A bunch of Dragon Fies or Rainy Flies were amassing under the yellow street light where the small droplets of drizzle were having shiny golden sparkles. I wanted to come back to the same place by taking my camera. But I do not know whether it was too late or my tiredness stopped me. I missed a rare and beautiful sight.

That was an interesting sight. About 5-10 people sleeping under an old truck."Inhabitants Of A Truck"; wherever they can park the truck, that place become their heaven. I see these people happily sleeping under the shades of the truck and I really envy them for that. I always wanted to talk to them and understand their feeling and capture their life. But again I was scared of their reaction. One day I decided to take my camera with all courage. I was scared to stop my car near by and take the snap. I drove 1 km ahead and again convinced myself and immediately took a U turn. I was really happy when I got the shot which was haunting me for 2 weeks.

There are many interesting incidents that I missed, If I could rewind my life and capture in my frames!!!

My Drives -1

A sudden cool breeze and sprinkle of water from the car window,  A rejuvenating feeling after the suffocating city traffic and the hot weather. This sudden drizzle calmed down my mind and body. Rain drops were looking even better in the street light.

I was going in 80 km/hr... trying to be in the speed limits on Elevated highway towards electronic city while SUVs were ripping on the right lane and my small 800 were getting shifted towards left by that thrust.

All of sudden I  reduced speed to enjoy each bit of the rain and the drive at night. My mind became romantic, became a poet,  or a philosopher...

Slower steps would make a person to enjoy each bit of it and value it better!!!

Act of Altruism

Are we really an altruist? Isn't there some kind of hidden returns for such act from us?

When the beggars come and knock your car window in the traffic signal, you might be searching for some coins. What do you think the real intention is? Is it to give some money to him, or is it to avoid the possible scratches he is going to make on the glass? What do you get in return from this act?

When small kids come and poke you, when you are standing in front of a shopping mall or bus stop with your girl friend, You might put your hands inside the pocket for some coins to get ride of such embarrassing situation. What is the benefit from such so called act of altruism? When you get benefited, can we call it as altruism? 

Now, there is a trend of IT professionals going to NGOs and taking teaching sessions. Isn't it to get relaxation from the daily hectic routine of work? Ultimate result is some kind of relaxation from your hectic life. Can I call  this also as an altruism ? 

_________________________________________________________

"Well, this write up is the after effect of the chapter "Unbelievable Stories about Apathy and Altruism" from "SUPER FREAKonomics" by Steven D.Levitt & Stephen J. Dubner." Interesting thoughts of applying economics in some behavior of us.

പെയ്ത മഴയുടെ ഓര്‍മകളില്‍

ജനാലയുടെ ചില്ലുകള്‍ കൊട്ടി അടയുന്ന വേളയില്‍

മുറിയിലെ വെളിച്ചത്തില്‍ മൂടലുകള്‍ പടരുമ്പോള്‍ 

എന്നുടെ കൈകളില്‍ രോമാഞ്ചം ഉണരുന്നു

ആരോ കാലുകളില്‍ ചിലങ്ക അണിഞ്ഞത് പോലെ

പെയ്തൊഴിയുന്ന മൃദു ബാഷ്പത്തിന്റെ  തണുപ്പില്‍

എവിടെയോ എന്‍റെ മന്സസ്സില്‍ ചൂടറിയുന്നു

ഈ വര്‍ഷം ഞാന്‍ നിന്നെ മറന്നുവോ, ഇല്ലാ

ഞാന്‍ നിന്നെ തേടി വന്നു, കുറെ കാത്തിരുന്നു...

എന്‍റെ കണ്കള്‍ക്കായി വരുന്ന കാര്‍മെഘതിനും

എനിക്കായി പെയ്യുന്ന മഴയുടെ താളത്തിനും

ആ താളത്തില്‍ പെയ്തൊഴിയുന്ന മഴതുള്ളികള്‍ക്കും

അതില്‍ പൊട്ടി ചിതറുന്ന കുമിളകള്‍ക്കും ...

Back to the world of painting after 3 yrs

It was KK who reminded me about my promise to him that I would paint something and give to him. It has been 3 years since I touched my brushes. Today I got this picture in my imagination and couldn't control myself.

"വിടരുവാന്‍ കൊതിക്കും"

"ഇനിയും വിടരുവാന്‍ അക്ഷമയായി

സുര്യനെ കാത്തിരിപ്പൂ ഞാന്‍

ആ കിരണങ്ങളില്‍ എന്നുടെ എന്നും 

ആനന്ദ നടനത്തില്‍ ലയിക്കാന്‍

നീ എന്ന് വരും എന്നുടെ പൂങ്കാവനത്തില്‍  !!! "

എന്നും നിന്നുടെ സ്വന്തം, 

A softer one behind the thorns

Are the thorns a shield for the softer one behind? To protect one from the external world...
Isn't the small hitch a beautiful feeling?   A more tranquil one with a hard and sharp protection.

UnBorn Child

Am I an unborn child? Rather the technology evolution might have enshrouded my creativity behind. 

I feel disgusted.  The forgetting stage in the life, that has hit so early to me while I am searching for the real unborn person of myself. 

A person who is yet to give birth to many great ideas or still struggling to find a birth canal inside the womb.

A Collage

Someone said "A good cigar is like a sexy chick" ...  Well, I do agree.. I am enjoying my last puff looking at the cigarette butts on the floor.

"It was like a movie. I chose whomever I felt like", recollecting my life ever since my adolescence. When the time came to choose one for my life, I don't know why I was not able to choose one among them. I was afraid whether they knew my character rather I would lose the fun. It might be again my selfish nature that I would find more fun with a new young and innocent girl.

"I never wanted to commit to anyone.But now I am getting committed to a girl whom my parents selected. Whenever I see one at office, one's orkut profile or the other one's messages, I really do not know how to respond though I enjoyed the most with them two months back."

I am searching for a cigarette to control my emotions rather my restlessness. My engagement ring is shining but it reminds me a police cuff.

My mobile beeped with a vibration; An innocent goodnight message from "My Girl". I  know she is also locked by her parents or scared to express herself due to the society and family bonds...

I realized that I need to wait...

A short drive to the never ending world

"Why don't we have a cup of tea?" It's from my friend who is guiding me through out the journey. I started searching for a roadside tea shop, where there is no need to wait, no heavy metal songs, no air conditioned room, no milk powder. I prefer to enjoy tea with the music of nature and the cool breeze.

"I miss the monsoon here, missing the real spirit of the drive, don't you feel so?". Looking at the vast empty sky, with a deep breath.

"Why don't you drive further up? You might be able to catch some clouds there". I took my friend's word and decided to climb 20 more hair pins.

Sun is on its way to take rest and giving way to moon. My eyes are filled with surprise. The clouds are getting darker and darker. Wind starts howling. I want to enjoy each bit of this nature and stopped my vehicle under a tree. It is the peak of the mountain,there is no way to go further up.

I started recollecting my drive to reach the heights and sharing with my friend. " The Easiest way with no hurdle in between and enjoyed each bit of it!!! You are with me all the way and I never felt boredom till today."

"You are my true friend" ; Closing my eyes and relaxing.

A raindrop wakes me up from the sleep. For a minute I forget where I am. Being lulled by the beauty of the nature, my mind is dancing along with the wind and drizzling rain.

All of a sudden I realized that I am alone. Where is my friend? I searched everywhere. I have no clue where to go. " My Friend, you guided me all these days. Where have you gone, leaving me alone?"

I became restless. I hear the sigh of the wind in the branches... For a moment I feel I am flying, But do not know where I am heading to, being so light and thin like a feather.

I see a bright light in front of me but far away, down the valley. I am breathless, It is turning to my friend's face with the usual naughty smile. "I guided you all the way in your life. Now it is your turn to show the right path to others". He vanishes!!!

Never realized the great power with me through out the journey. A smile on my face like a calm wind...

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Curtsey for the picture to Manu (http://cyberabode.com/gallery/displayimage.php?album=32&pos=98) who is the photographer and owns the Safari.

Like a Wind...

A Saturday started with a dream but mixed with a sober mood of working from home on a weekend too. A mind, impervious to laptop helped me to pull me back from the daily routine. I am so excited!!! I could make it today after a long time. Still... A day without laptop, books and assignments; It is a dream for me now. My mind is restless like a wind rather stand still. Days are reaching for the wind to collapse at a mountain.

A lonely walker

People are rushing to buses and subways while she is searching for someone to help her with the exit to subway station on her first day in NYC. How can others pay attention to her when they don't have time for themselves. She is a lonely walker on busy streets. A cautious lady sitting inside a subway train, keeps changing her eyes between subway maps and display boards, being scared whether she misses her destination. She wonders after stepping out of the small subway exit passage, seeing huge buildings and busy roads. It is drizzling and she has forgotten to carry an umbrella. Her steps are quite short compared to those busy gigantic people who pass by her way. She realizes but with many confusions that the subway is having many exits to different streets. Maps are confusing her even more. She is searching for someone again. Expecting her way back to hotel room would be the same she headed to the subway and then to the nearest exit. Again the exit ditched her with a surprise. Street lights and display boards are adding blush to her face along with the surprise. She is confused whether to walk further and see more wonders like Alice in wonderland, or to find a way to PABT 42nd st. Times square is too irresistible for her to take herself back to the correct route. As usual she started playing with her camera. Time is running fast. A big clock reminded her about the bus. She is searching again for someone. Oh !!! She finds two handsome fellows, standing and watching people around. The only two people who seem to be not in a hurry. Tall and Handsome Cops!!! A lonely walker who is enjoying each step of herself. To be continued...

Hampi - A Travelogue

Vacation at Hampi- It was an idea to spend a few leaves left out for the year. Kavya and I were surprised while discussing on this regard, that we had same taste and never discussed about it. Reading couple of blogs helped as to know the real experience of people who visited the place and to accommodate our minds along with Guest house options available there.Still we went ahead and booked one guest house, it was a kind of home stay.Rahul Guest house. The planning was made within 1 hour. we first checked ticket availability in KSRTC service to Hampi. There is a service from Bangalore to Hampi night at 11:30 and it reaches Hampi at 7:00AM but there is a halt at Hospet. When the bus reached Hampi I was dazed since the place looked like a bus stop, Not a bus stand!!!. A lot of people bunched together at the door step to receive the tourists for Guide and auto services. Rahul guest house board was visible from the stand. It was just first floor of one house. I would say do not expect anything inside the room other than a bath room and a bed. It is better to carry bed sheet, towel etc. Another challenge was breakfast, I didn't have this much trouble in US with the menu. You can see varieties of cuisines for foreigners even at small food courts. We went to tourist info center and hired a guide for 700/- per day. He took us to Spiritual Enclave on the same day. It was a good walk and he explained the history mixed with Hindi and English. I liked trekking to Vithala Temple. He took us through a lonely route middle of rocks and stone temples. The top view of the ruins of Vijayanagara bazar and temples were just awesome. I wish I had a wide angle camera to capture the entire place. By the time we reached Vithala temple it was sundown. Along with a group of people from some Ashram, we were able to listen the saptaswara of different instruments using the stone pillars. I was amazed by the talent of ancient people. The guide took us back to the guest house saying the he was taking us through the main road and we were scared but at the same time couldn't control ourselves seeing the beauty of the place, river side of Thungabadra under moon light, the best trekking ever had. Never miss the walk back from Vithala temple to the Hampi bus stand.We were tired and went to the same Geetha restaurant where we had our breakfast and lunch. Second day, we hired bicycles to Royal Enclave, two for us one for guide. First time I was riding bicycle for more than 10 min. Good time at Royal enclave also. Many kids thought that we are from foreign nations and came and talked to us, they were touching us, strange though. By 3:00PM we dumped ourselves, rather guide dumped us at one restaurant called Mango tree. Good for ambiance. I liked only the Mango tree special fried rice. Third day we went to the other side of the river where Hanuman Temple is located. We hired one auto and made auto driver as our guide too.While returning the auto driver dropped us at one restaurant called "Laughing Budha", attractive place for foreigners. Sunset at Hemakuta hills would be one of the best options for photographers in Hampi. We vacated third day morning itself and kept luggages at office itself. You can relax at any of the restaurants, Santhi, Laughing budha or Mango Tree, since they provide bed, tv etc along with food. A perfect vacation, with no mobile, no mails.

Reva - A Green initiator's worry

I would support anything to preserve the nature. Well, thinking about Reva, I was wondering whether I would opt Reva for my day to day city drive. Surprising me, my answer was NO. When I was watching Frankfurt auto show 2009 in NDTV profit and found Reva NXG looks nice. But surprisingly my answer was again NO. I was discussing about this to Susovan; My MS classmate. Lot of reasons came up for the failure. First and foremost, Marketing failure, It did not reach people. I hardly see any advertisement of Reva. Maintenance is another block for buyer. Of course Price, Return on Investment in terms of Savings on fuel expenses, Comfort and luxury. They have to have tie up with corporates and Government. People should get more discounts. There should be subsidised rates for charging the batteries at kiosks. Talking about the kiosks, I have seen Reva charging stations at one corner of our parking lot. Usually I think about my car fuel when I get ready and start the car expecting a petrol bunk within 2 kms. There again comfort makes me to go for Petrol cars. After spending this huge amount for a car, I would definitely expect some luxury inside. At last people stare at you as if you are driving a toy car with no breathing space inside; My ego may not let me to do that. People in India are having the feeling that if it is a German or US made car, it is good. Reva as an Indian brand may not have much brand value here; It need to have tie up with foreign automobile companies which would help them to apply innovation in technology and creativity in design. Any small car is promoted as women car so is Reva. Reva need to invest more on its sporty looks. I can see better looks in REVA NXG which will be on roads by 2010. Lets hope R&D and technology innovations can produce more electric cars with less manufacturing cost and affordable to an Indian with good comfort.

Mahindra in Two wheeler

After a long time I switched on the TV and was watching my favorite channel, NDTV Profit. I happened to see a news on Mahindra's entrance into Two Wheeler Market. I am just wondering whether it would be a good move from Mahindra, If so why? Where will they be more successful, in rural or Urban? What kind of people should they target? Before getting into the analysis,let me walk through how Mahindra entered into the Two wheeler industry. Mahindra acquired 80% of Kinetic Motors assets in the month of July. It has its own foot prints on all the automobiles segments other than two wheeler. Mahindra is a major player in Indian Automobile section, especially in Utility vehicles. It could be an easy entrance into the two wheeler segment. But I doubt, with outlook of Mahindra's products, whether Kinetic can make a difference to the company in this segment. Kinetic a successful company in low end two wheelers mainly focused on youth, and women. The moment one hear Mahindra, the first image could be a powerful vehicle. No one would ever think about a lower cc, colourful scooter from this manufacturer. Acquiring Kinetic could be a good decision, but to be successful in the two wheeler market they need to have a good differentiating Product strategy. Scorpio is the best example of that. They changed the Utility vehicle into Luxurious vehicle affordable for an Indian. Similar way they need to come up with rigid, high end two wheelers. Mahindra in two wheeler would be successful in rural since majority people are already familiarized with its products and services. More number of people are using two wheelers in the rural areas. With the current products of Mahindra Two wheelers, it will be successful neither in Urban, nor in Rural. The looks and the power does not satisfy the needs of the customers. Looking into the trend analysis, young generation prefers more of powerful motorcycles from Enfield which has some minor reflection of Harley. Royal Enfield has already established in India for years in the high end two wheeler industry. Mahindra Brand name suits more to a Man rather than to a woman. If Mahindra can manufacture high end powerful two wheelers it would be successful both in rural and Urban places. But if Mahindra applies good innovation tactics in motorcycle, it can be the leaders.

Kudachadri- Travelogue

Divine Power of the Goddess of Nature, Kudachadri is place you can feel and see it. I was just wondering How Sri Sankaracharya had reached at the peak of the mountain!!! We reached the powerful temple at hill top and completed rituals. Our next aim was to reach the peak of the mountain. The weather was pleasant when we started, but it was drizzling on the way to the "Peedam" and Guha ganapathi. Long trecking made my my parents gave up in between. My sister and I kept the momentum to reach the Guha Ganapathi and further more. A person who loves silence won't feel like coming back, It was just awesome. Mookambika, a temple for Vidya, where anyone can enter and worship devi without no caste or religion barrier. As Vidya is offered to everyone equally, so is the blessings of Goddess of Vidya. Power of Mookambika Saraswathy devi, I do not have any words to express it. We had gone inside the temple about 4 times. I didn't feel like coming back.The dedication and admiration of the "Poojaris" to the temple,That makes the people feel the Divine power.

Follower of Go GREEN

Yes!!! I am also a part of Go Green initiative. I am proud to say and convey to the world. Today I did it When I did shopping for groceries at foodworld. I was so proud to say in front of the long queue of the people behind, STOP ! I have a bag with me. Please fill the items in it. I do not need any more bags, If you need bags I can return all the bags I had collected from foodworld till now. They can reuse those ones. First step to Go Green. I used to blame public and government whenever seeing the plastic without decomposed in drainage or inside soil. Being a part of the public why can't I start taking initiative from my side? "Saving Trees... Saving Soil... Saving our lives..."

My Madness: Unforgettable Reward :)

My Madness: Unforgettable Reward :)

First Blog Inspiration

I should thank my friend Vinod, we call him as Chacko, who gave me the idea of blogging today when I was in a good mood to write, Chacko, I know him for more than 10 years now, Can't believe it!!! How fast time is going, Still we keep the warmth of our teenage friendship. I can shout, scream, talk any nonsense to him. Our gang is not together now. But I am sure you guys might be reading and recollecting the memories of our Basket ball court gathering...UCC class rooms.

Unforgettable Reward :)

A memorable day in my life which took me back to my school days, with those enthusiastic innocent spirits. Small things in one's life can make big changes. I felt it today. How a Professor can change the way you see the world!!! I experienced it. How a person can make him unforgettable in other life!!! I saw that. Even after being naughty in the class without realizing how insulting and offensive it could be to the Professor, he just expressed it to me in a very polite manner the effort he had put in the class room and begged my attention. My throat dried , face got pale by guilty. The prof demanded respect there!!! I loved it. Rewards, a Pat on the shoulder makes a person more confident. He made it practical today in class. I got an envelope from him which I value more than millions of Dollar. It made me realize how enthusiastic I have to be in the classes and woke me up for the upcoming sessions. I was seeing smile and happiness from class room technicians (who set up and support our class room control system) while receiving small gifts from the Professor.I am sure no one would have given them this much respect in their life. I learnt from you how to recognize people and make them smile from you, Sir. The positive energy he spread all around made me to visualize my life in different angle and feel things as gifts of GOD. Thank you Sir. Though I do not talk much,I observe and learn a lot from others, from their actions and responses. I believe always that I can learn something from others, however good or bad that person is. My learning from Prof Raj is immeasurable.

Prof Raj Sharman is from (SUNY, Buffalo, NewYork)